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So everyone starts drinking it a little too much and they get the money to build thirty-six cathedrals, but it turns out eventually the blood turns you into a werewolf. Figuring this out, they got Cthulhu's blood and were like ' We could make a religion out of this', because it turns out the blood can heal people, which is really good due to all the knife crime.

It turns out the entire world is ruled and created by a race of elder gods beyond human comprehension called 'the Great Ones'.

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(She was just in a portable toilet downstairs.) Also, because they were bored, they beat to death a god of the sea with some bats, but that's a story for later. Sixty years ago, twenty rowdy college students took their education extremely seriously because they found Woman Cthulhu. And in this route you sneak up behind this guy and do him the dirty, then entice these two swinular bastards to be mauled to death by members of Organization XIII. Side note: note said boat the optimal route for farming currency in this game is called 'Mergo's Pig Fisting Route.' See, I changed the web page. (Gehrman's health is shown taking a sharp decline from the attack) This extends to behind them if you charge an attack, which sometimes causes you to reach up a pig's asshole and rip out his prostate like Fruit by the Foot. Here, it's all about the knife bins, except when you shoot somebody mid-attack, you gain the mystical and arcane ability to plunge your fist into their ribcage like Mortal Kombat and pull out their heart, which is considered rude and a slight annoyance. On a complicated level, you have a gun, and normally bullets hurt people, but in London, bullets are a suggestion like the Geneva Convention. When you kill someone, it's because you were faster and had more meth than they did. Every encounter therefore is tense and engaging. Basic enemies are basically able to whoop your ass into fucking nonexistence. Cause every single enemy is adjusted to keep pace with you. On a simple level, your baby brain is responsible is responsible for two tasks: dodging and hitting, and dodging in this game renders you temporarily invincible (for 1/3 of a second). The gameplay is what makes this game great and the easiest way to describe it is simple but complicated. Do that, and I can give you the full, unfiltered, uncensored, unsubstantiated and unsportsmanlike experience that is Bloodborne. But keep watching because I am hilarious and original.

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( port this game to pc i beg of you) In fact, I can assume that a lot of people watching this video will basically never play the game. Because you have to buy a $400 magical box sold by the wizard Sony in order to experience it, and even then, you get to see it in an amazing 30 frames per second with no anti-aliasing. Max0r: However, most people can't play this game, ever. It's no secret that my reviews are entertainment first, so I don't suggest using me as genuine advice. So if you can, play it yourself, because I'm not going to hold back on the details. A great action RPG which pits you against insurmountable odds and extreme challenges, and has a gripping story and lore about discovering the eldritch truth. This game is an excellent realization of a Metroidvania with something new around every corner. In order to accomplish said Herculean task, the player must journey through dark forests, terrifying nightmares, and the meth ridden alleyways of a post-Brexit Britain, exploring, and tricking women into being impregnated by God so you can consume the Child. Journeying further, John Bloodborne becomes conscripted into the service of a gay elder god and the sixty-year old man he keeps as a pet, and is given the ultimate task of killing an invisible infant in order to cure his anemia.

In doing so, he will begin hallucinating talking dolls, spider people, and the great- ( eldritch screeching is heard) In this game, you play as John Bloodborne, a foreigner incapable of speech without the use of sign language and stricken with Habsburg disease comes to the ancient city of London seeking treatment for the sins of his cousins.

If that in-depth and engaging anti-baby gameplay appeals to you, keep listening, because it gets worse.

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Max0r: Bloodborne is a Lovecraftian horror RPG that no one understands by definition, where the player is free to attack hordes of human children at will and consume their innards.

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